I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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