im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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