Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
