Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
