i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
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West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize