she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
honey bunches of taint.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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