I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize