i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
