you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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