just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she was so not down for the gang bang
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
