we're blogging at a bar
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
