He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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