So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
