why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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