is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
