It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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