So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
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and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
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She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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