i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
