I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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