I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
