There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
