AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
