You're completely useless in the revolution.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
