she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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