i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
