Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
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He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
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I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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