have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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