I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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