somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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