Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize