I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
