I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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