Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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