Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
