I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
