If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
