i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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