Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
