Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.

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  (314): I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster. http://tfl.nu/3vkx
  Replies (22) Good night (4369) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  and it's going to stay that way

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  (203): I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other (413): and it's going to stay that way http://tfl.nu/bh5o
  Replies (11) Good night (903) Bad night (3017)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn

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  (916): I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn http://tfl.nu/z1in
  Replies (4) Good night (3227) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds

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  (517): you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds http://tfl.nu/45sf
  Replies (23) Good night (3983) Bad night (2076)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.

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  (917): My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays. http://tfl.nu/9drw
  Replies (77) Good night (1210) Bad night (4404)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.

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  (484): I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition. http://tfl.nu/zjox
  Replies (9) Good night (5053) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.

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  (574): I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA. http://tfl.nu/q47o
  Replies (31) Good night (1594) Bad night (5490)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.

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  (360): He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one. http://tfl.nu/lrzn
  Replies (9) Good night (7182) Bad night (1165)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse

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  (403): I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse http://tfl.nu/d3ev
  Replies (20) Good night (8746) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome

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  (708): I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome http://tfl.nu/0ypv
  Replies (11) Good night (1785) Bad night (4211)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.

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  (330): Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high. http://tfl.nu/m92h
  Replies (8) Good night (3297) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.

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  (317): Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays. http://tfl.nu/4yhe
  Replies (9) Good night (1775) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...

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  (573): I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad... http://tfl.nu/bjgv
  Replies (15) Good night (767) Bad night (2200)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"

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  (319): That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion" http://tfl.nu/w9if
  Replies (12) Good night (2590) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.

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  (307): I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/dw8b
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (241)

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