Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.

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  (708): the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out. http://tfl.nu/g42w
  Replies (38) Good night (786) Bad night (1254)
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  (562): View more from California

  CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!

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  (562): CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?! http://tfl.nu/fpdj
  Replies (21) Good night (1007) Bad night (2603)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"

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  (317): she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES" http://tfl.nu/88gh
  Replies (46) Good night (4108) Bad night (1189)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?

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  (903): We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer? http://tfl.nu/09oa
  Replies (2) Good night (1424) Bad night (672)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea

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  (906): Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea http://tfl.nu/gfkd
  Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (890)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions

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  (717): I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions http://tfl.nu/aecl
  Replies (5) Good night (645) Bad night (530)
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  (227): View more from Maryland

  He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like

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  (227): He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like http://tfl.nu/muep
  Replies (13) Good night (1443) Bad night (594)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.

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  (402): Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end. http://tfl.nu/ykik
  Replies (4) Good night (1115) Bad night (613)
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  (550): View more from

  I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.

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  (550): I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone. http://tfl.nu/3axh
  Replies (4) Good night (1019) Bad night (342)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive

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  (843): The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive http://tfl.nu/6zkp
  Replies (10) Good night (559) Bad night (499)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.

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  (469): He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is. http://tfl.nu/q0lq
  Replies (4) Good night (679) Bad night (271)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.

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  (915): Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking. http://tfl.nu/kufi
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (334)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?

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  (267): The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages? http://tfl.nu/e59q
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (386)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  why am i naked

  (512): View more from Texas

  you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home

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  (512): why am i naked (512): you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home http://tfl.nu/ze4v
  Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (394)
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  (415): View more from California

  Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?

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  (415): Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license? http://tfl.nu/k1wl
  Replies (9) Good night (820) Bad night (241)

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