Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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