Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize