have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
