Your dad touched me again.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
