Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This is the high leading the old right now
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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