hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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