Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
