You made me cry and you don't even care
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
