Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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