did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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