Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
COCAINE IS GR8
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
