u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
MIDGETS
????
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
