i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
