I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
