He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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