I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
