Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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