I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I currently don't understand fingers.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
