I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
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While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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