My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
