My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
where are you?
Hypothermia
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
