Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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