Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize