woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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