i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
you're hired as official boob wrangler
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
