Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
