Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Even my vagina gasped.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
