I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
