Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
