**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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