Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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