If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
